lighters, & love
by xLipstickMarks
Summary: Living in a small apartment in New York, Ellie and Jimmy are bonded together by drugs. Rated M for Adult situations, mild language, sexual themes and mature lyrics.
1. prologue

prologue. Ash to ash. Cigarette to cigarette. Hand in hand. Lips to lips. Who knew I'd have a love like this? He makes me feel...different. Like no other guy would make me feel. He's like a drug and I'm addicted. I can't help but look around in this empty room and think of how life would have been if I had met him sooner. His skin like soft porcelain. His eyes like deep orbs of a meadow. His smile starry like the dark New York sky. Fights happen. Things break. But everything that's broken is practically meant to be fixed right? That's how it goes between him and I. We're meant to be together. Now I look in this empty room and see nothing but hope and empty bongs. Condom wrappers and bottles of unopened vodka and scotch. Lighters and love. It bonds us together like shoe laces. I love you, Brooks. 


	2. love stronger than super glue

**Hey everybody! It's me! This is my second story, but my first Degrassi fanfic! Lets get the first chapter started with. But first, there are a couple of things that I must go over. One, I moved Degrassi to New York. Two, Jimmy never got shot. Three, Ellie and Jimmy are in the middle of their senior year. Four, takes place in March/April. Alright, proceed!**

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><p>He slowly brushed a strand of red hair behind her pale ear. He nuzzled his shaved face into her neck. Inhaling her fresh meadow lavender scent, he traced the outline of her visible bra strap and pressed his lips against her pulse point, sending tiny shocks of electricity down her spine. She grazed her nails down his bare back in pleasure, soaking in this love contained moment. Reaching his hands behind her upper back, he unclasped the hooks on her bra and watched it hit the floor. She moaned gently as he circled her nipple slowly with his thumb. He did the same with his left hand. He kissed her neck, nibbling, then softly biting. He made sure that he had made a mark. Lifting his head from the already red patch of skin, he turned his gaze into her emerald green eyes. He then captured her soft pink lips into a passionate kiss. Only seven long seconds into their intense lip locking, an annoying continuous buzzing of a nearby alarm rang to their ears. "Sh*t," He groaned, taking a loose grip around her waist. "Last time I'm waking up early to make out." She groaned out, releasing herself from his grip. "J, why did you think this was a good idea?" Ellie frowned as she was grabbing her towel from her closet.<p>

Jimmy sighed, still staring at his girlfriend's rack. Following his gaze, Ellie scoffed and wrapped the towel around her naked body. Jimmy frowned at the loss. He walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her small body. "Mondays suck a*s. I thought it would be nice to start off the horrible day with my girlfriend. " He mumbled in to her hair.

"Do fell like seed." Ellie muffled.

Jimmy pinned his eyebrows together, letting go of Ellie. "Wha?" He questioned. Wtf did she just say?

"You smell like weed." Ellie giggled out, grinning at Jimmy's confused face. And soon, Jimmy was laughing too. "Maybe we could grab a hit before we leave to go to hell? Or other people like to call it - school." Ellie smiled. Jimmy chuckled at this, leaning back against the wall.

He nodded slowly. "Yeah. But maybe I should take a shower first so I don't smell like double the weed." He joked before walking off to take a shower.

Jimmy pulled the faucet, watching the warm beads of water hit his tan skin.

Meanwhile, Ellie sighed as she tightened her towel and sat on the messy king sized bed.

Ellie and Jimmy had been living in Palm Screens Estate since Junior year. Both attending Degrassi, they worked at the Dot, a small café on the outskirts of Manhattan. Ellie worked at three to six, Mondays, Wednesdays and Sundays. Jimmy worked five to eight, Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays. Twelve dollars an hour really isn't worth it, but what else is there?

Now seniors, Ellie and Jimmy didn't have a plan for the afterlife, or college as you may say. NYU? NCC? What IS there that could accept the yet to be founded talents of them?

Ellie stood up and reached under her pillow for her red lighter. Picking it up, she tucked it in her palm and began searching for a cigarette. She wasn't gonna go heavy with the smoking this morning, since they had about an hour and a half before school had started.

Opening a pack of Malboros, Ellie slid one out and tucked the box back into Jimmy's drawer, next to a baggy coke and marijuana, under his boxers. She absentmindedly took a pair and stuffed it in her bookbag, smiling slyly. She walked out of the bedroom and through the kitchen. She opened the fridge and slid a bottle of Zephyrhills water out and walked to the balcony of their small apartment.

Ellie sat down on one of their outdoor recliners, lighting the cigarette.

She inhaled. Today was just one of those days that needed to be skipped. She could already feel that today would be a bad day. Nothing horrible, but something bad. She always had these superstitions.

Inhaling another hit, Ellie nearly jumped two feet off the chair when Jimmy had cleared his throat, sending Ellie to choke and cough on the puff of smoke. "Holy f*ck, boo, don't scare my a*s like that!" Ellie cursed, her chest heaving. "Uh, c-could you kinda make a noise before you come out? L-like cough?" Ellie looked up at her boyfriend as she tapped her cig butt in the ash bowl.

"I...I did." Jimmy chuckled, grabbing the cigarette from Ellie. Inhaling the air, he gave it back but not after stealing his girlfriend's lips. He breathed into her, and when they pulled away, Ellie let out his puff of smoke and giggled. She stood up, and so did Jimmy.

"Now go shower." Jimmy demanded, slapping Ellie's butt with his palm, which made her squeal and walk back into their small apartment. 

Ellie slipped on her navy blue spaghetti strap tanktop over her straight red hair, which was in a messy bun. She appreciated her attire. During the summer, she had dropped her cutting and goth lifestyle and became an anti-social butterfly. Instead of wearing black and dark things, she wore what had appealed to her. That, or anything that she found in her closet within five minutes.

Tank top. Distressed skinny jeans. Black converses. Black blazer. Nothing special.

With thirty minutes to spare, Jimmy and Ellie had drove to the Dot for breakfast.

Surprisingly, Ellie had only seen one person she knew from Degrassi. One certain blonde who had annoyed the sh*t out of her. She had tormented her, but then one day she suddenly gave a care when Ellie had been cutting.

Paige Michaelfu*ck. Oh, sorry. Michaelchuk.

Jimmy looked at Ellie awkwardly. Apparently he had felt her tense up. "What's wrong, E?" Ellie looked at him and shook her head. "N-nothing." She stammered out.

Paige lifted her latté cup to her lips, nearly spitting the hot liquid out. Who Ellie didn't notice was another girl behind her. She was a short girl with black hair. She was tan, and had crystal blue eyes. Ellie had never seen her at Degrassi before.

Pretending like the spit take had not happened, Paige shoved her latté toward the short girl and walked toward Jimmy and Ellie.

"Paige, what the f do you want?" Jimmy huffed. Only, he didn't say f.

"Woah there, Jimmy Boy, chill out. Why don't you tear that pole from up your a*s, Brooks?"

"Because maybe if I do, I'll be tempted to smack your b*tchy a*s with it, Michaelf*ck." Jimmy retorted, stepping in Paige's personal space. Ellie pulled him back by his arm.

"J, it's really worth it."

Paige gasped sarcastically, "She talks?" She pressed her palm to her chest. "Never knew vampires went out in daytime."

"Actually," Ellie smiled, "We do. So we could eat snotty sl*ts like you."  
>She snarled.<p>

Ellie had already discussed this with Paige. They despised eachother. There was nothing that could change that. At all.

"Oh chill it, cutter." Paige had rolled her eyes.

This had brought Ellie over the cliff edge. She had no reason to bring up Ellie's past. She had NO reason to bring it up in public! Boiling with anger, Ellie rose her arm and swatted Paige's cheek with the back of her hand, then with the front.

The short girl ran to Paige's assistance, cradling her red face, making Ellie think: 'who the hell IS she?'

The cashier of the Dot had flew to Ellie in an instant. "Sorry, ma'am, but I'm gonna have to ask you to leave." He had said.

"Fine with me." Ellie shrugged, grabbing Jimmy by his hand, "C'mon, Jim." She then turned to Paige with fury in her eyes.

"Burn. In. Hell, Paige Michaelchuk."

"So much for breakfast." Ellie said pessimistically, snapping her seatbelt on.

Jimmy shrugged, turning on to Moon Crest Road. "Do you know who that girl was?" He asked.

Ellie shrugged. She didn't know. And she really didn't care. For all that Ellie knew, Paige and her mystery wh*re could cliffdive into dirt and sink down to hell. "I've never seen her at Degrassi. She must be new or something."

"Yeah." Jimmy agreed. "...Baby?"

"Huh?"

"What was Paige talking about before you oh-so bitch slapped her?" Jimmy bit his lip and glanced at his girlfriend with a small proud smile, but still with seriousness.

Ellie feared this. She didn't want to tell Jimmy her goth past. She was passed that. She wanted to focus on the present. The present. Something that proved that Ellie had put her bad lifestyle behind her. Not in front, or the side. Jimmy was in front of her metaphorically and beside her literally. No, seriously, he was sitting right next to her.

"I need to smoke." Ellie reached in her bookbag for her cigarette when Jimmy stopped at a red light. She lifted her bookbag, but Jimmy held her arm, making some things spill out her bag.

Including his boxers.

Jimmy smiled. "We'll talk about that later." He chuckled, "But what was Paige saying?"

"No, J, I really don't wanna talk about Sl*tty McB*tch. I'll tell to you, b-but not now. Please. Not now." Ellie ignored her boyfriend's gaze.

Jimmy sensed his girlfriend's nervousness and sighed, "Alright." He agreed and pecked her lips.

She kissed him back, touching his cheek with her hand.

And she meant it. She really did want to tell him, but it was just too much to handle right now.


	3. wounds

**It's been a awhile! Anyway: just a reminder: JIMMY NEVER GOT SHOT. RICK NEVER DIED. THE LAKEHURST BATTLE NEVER BEGAN - WHICH MEANS J.T. NEVER DIED. :) I'm writing my story just like Degrassi should have been in the show ^-^**

**Furthermore, I apologize if I haven't given you that disclaimer: I do not own Degrassi - as much as I'd like to. Because if I did - a ton of things would have gone differently.**

**The next chapter will be published before Christmas, as long as it may take me. Oh, and, deeper into the story, drama will grown faster than a flower, and the story will be on different point of views.**

**Enough of my babbling & `Happy Reading. :D**

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><p>chapter two.<p>

…•JIMMY•…

The day had gone okay. Not the best. When me and El drove home, we talked about nothing. It wasn't complete silence, just small talk. The weather. Hah, just joking. E and I aren't that bland. We talked about homework, music, and...Paige. Ellie hadn't told me what she had said to get her so worked up to slap her, but we just talked about who that strange girl was. I mean, that couldn't have been Paige's girlfriend. I could have sworn Alex's hair was longer..And wasn't Alex...taller? Odds were: Paige was having an affair...And E and I had walked in on it...Awkward sh*t.

And as Ellie and me lay in our bed, 11PM, we discussed the possibilities of Paige being the girlfriend of two different girls.

"Paige wouldn't cheat." E said.

"Yeah, she would." I scoffed.

"C'mon, Boo, do you SEE the way she looks at that Alex girl? Paige may be a psychotic, b*tchy, sl*tty, stupid, bratty-"

"Eleanor," I warned in my best impression of my dad, "Only so much swearing may be allowed in this bedroom." I breathed out, stroking Ellie's red hair.

Ellie rolled her eyes, tracing the outlines of my eight pack. "Well, J, you didn't say that last night, when we f*cked." She giggled.

"True. But Paige IS a b*tch." I sighed.

Silence...

"Jimmy?"

I raised my eyebrows as Ellie rose her head from my chest. "Yeah, E?"

"Promise me something." Ellie bit her lip.

This was serious. 1. She NEVER called me Jimmy. Either Boo, Jim, or just J. 2. She was on the verge of tears.

I sat up straighter. "What is it, baby?" I asked, fingercombing her hair.

"P-please. Please promise me you'll never be like Paige. Or Craig."

Craig.

The name had slowly rolled off her tongue in disgust and regret. I had the nerve to call him my...my friend.

"Never." I solemnly promised her, "I promise I will NEVER be like Craig, or Paige. I love you. Only you." I kissed her lips.

"Thank you." Ellie hugged me tightly and smiled, wiping a tear. "I love you so much, J."

"Me too, E."

Ellie grinned, standing up. She slipped into drawer and pulled out two baggies. Weed and coke.

"C'mon. We both need it.' Ellie pulled me out to the balcony.

Four coke lines and seven puffs of smoke later, Ellie was baaaaaked.  
>She was always the quicker one to get high, as of me - I was slower to be effected. Only a tad bit buzzed, I reached over and rubbed Ellie's cheek. A smudge of powder still remained and I laughed. She widened her green eyes, confused.<p>

"Whaaaaaaaat? Do I have something in my teeth?" She exclaimed, kissing her teeth to get whatever that was in her mouth.

I shook my head as I chuckled. "Naw, it's nothin'." I smiled.

Ellie relaxed, "Oh. Well then gimme' my lighter back, b*tch!" She giggled, snatching her lighter from my fingers. She rolled another blunt and lit it. "Okay. I have something to say," her words slurred, "I...used...to cut..." she giggled.

Hahaaa..what the f*ck did she say?

"Eleanor.."

"Whaaaat, Mr. Seriousness?" Ellie giggled. "You can't live a little?" She smirked. "Actually, lets go have sex. I want you, J." Her words slurred sexily in my ear before she plunged forward and shoved her slender tongue through my lips.

The next morning, the bright sun broke through my curtains, signaling me that it was around eight to nine.

Oh.

F*ck.

"What?" Ellie growled, her naked body spurring under the thick blankets.

I should really keep a look out on my loose a*s tongue in the mornings.

I gently shook Ellie out of her slumber. "Heyy, looks like my dream came true." She laughed, referring to my nude attire.

I chuckled, but not before telling her we were an hour late for class. "Ah, sh*t!" Ellie smacked her forehead. "I had a test in first period!"

"Well, get your f*cking red hot a*s in the shower!" I exclaimed. "But you have to bathe, too…" Ellie frowned at me.

"Well then we'll bathe together." I tried not to sound too excited about this.

She didn't have time to protest. Instead, she had ran into the bathroim and I followed her. She ran the water and I just jumped in.

The shower ran quickly. She washed my back, I washed hers. No sexual themes related...until tonight, because we didn't have time for shower sex right then. Anyway, one Hollister shirt, Levis, and a pair of Adidas later, I rushed Ellie to third period. (unfortunately, El had wasted one period buying a donut from Starbuck, since we're banned from the Dot for a month, unless we were working. Apparently, we enforced the rule: PLEASE TAKE VIOLENCE OUTSIDE. Go figure) I rushed to my locker, only to be halted by no one other than Paige Michaelsl*t.

"God, will you ever stop?" I asked her, noticing her cheek was redder than usual. "Woah, Paige, never knew you got hid that hard" I chuckled to myself.

"Zip it, B-Baller. You better pass on a message to your G-Friend. If she ever looks my way, I'll end her biting vampire a*s." Paige snapped before slamming my locker in my face and walking off.

B*tch.

But what I didn't know, is that she heard me, and flipped me off from behind.

Can I ever keep control of my mouth?

After I had gotten my books, I quickly scurried to my third period, which was Math with  
>Mr. Carth.<p>

I was about to make it past the water fountain to room 147 when a small body had clashed into mine. The girl loat balance and met the floor with her side.

"D*mn, I am so sorry." I gasped, reaching out my hand to help the short girl, noticing that she had the same hair, same height and same eyes as the girl from yesterday.

The girl grasped my hand and stood up, smiling, "Hey, it's alright. It's hard being the new girl." She shrugged, then gasped. "You're the guy from the Dot, right?"

Sh*t.

She recognized me. I mean, who wouldn't? I was the boyfriend of a girl who had pimp slapped another girl...for cutting.

I still have to talk to her about that. I couldn't because she was literally more baked than a f*cking cookie last night. She kept singing until I lied to her and told her I was deaf. (Which was a horrible idea. It only made her sing louder.)

"Uh, yeah," I said embarrassed. "Look, I'm sorry for my girlfriend." I chuckled.

"Its ok, Paige is still breathing." The short girl giggled. "I'm Lianna Cliff." She smiled and held out her small palm.

I took it. "Jimmy Brooks."

Lianna grinned. "I'll see you around, Jimmy." And with a wink, she turned on her heels, but I held her shoulder.

Being the nosy a*shole that I am, I asked, "Are you and Paige together?"

She raised her thin eyebrows at my sudden question. "Lets just say...We're not strangers, but we're not lovers." She tittered before walking off.

Wtf. It was a yes or no question.

"Holy crap, Paige's got a f*ckbuddy" I mumbled to myself before walking to math.

…•ELLIE•…

"Can't you just call in sick?" I pouted at J when he buttoned up his work shirt. I just wanted to tear it off and kiss him. "Just one day, Boo, please?"

"El, I can't." Jimmy sighed as he frowned and twisted in another button. "Maybe next time."

No? Jimmy never said no to me. Only when he's a bit stressed. But what's there to stress about? We had a hit less than two hours ago. He should be higher than a kite. But he's not like that. I am, actually. He's always harder to effect. I'm never quiet when I'm high. I yell at the freaking top of my lungs, sometimes blurt things, sometimes sing. Sometimes all in one. Which made me think: What the hell did I do last night?

"Boo, can I ask you a question?" I said, completely waving away my rejected feeling.

"What is it?" He looked up from his button-up, a worried expression invading his flawless complexionate face. God, he is so hot.

Alright, Ellie, stop it. You are eighteen. Not a twelve year old horny bracefaced boy. What the hell is wrong with you tonight? Ah, wait - I was still high from the coke.

"W-what happened last night?" I stammered, leaning on the bed post. I knew he wasn't that high last night. He could remember more than I had. "I was stoked. I just want to know if I did or say anything to embarrass you or myself." I nervously laughed out. I inhaled and exhaled. Doing this, I noticed that Jimmy had thought sonething was off.

It wasn't as if anything wasn't.

"Uh, I don't remember."

I rolled my eyes. Are you serious? Jimmy has better memory than a laptop. Obviously, he was lying through his teeth with that one.

I pinned my eyebrows together, confused. I felt so rejected. "But-"

"Look, Ellie, I really gotta head to work. " Jimmy pushed past me and out the bedroom.

I stood there, awestruck. What just happened? "Jimmy!" I called after him and followed where we was. He was about to twist the doorknob and then I interrupted.

"I don't get why you're so mad at me! You're not talking to me as much as you usually would..a-and you avoided me at lunch!" I exclaimed, tears threatning to escape, "I-is there someone else?" I cried, "Y-you don't love anymore. You h-hate me!" I sobbed into my hands.

Before I knew it, a pair of strong arms cradled my shaking body against their hard chest, guiding me to the living room sofa.

"Ellie, I could never hate you."

"Then why are you acting so hot and cold today?" I sniffled, hugging his torso.

"Y-you told me something last night that was a bit disturbing." Jimmy said slowly, rubbing small circles on my back.

"I-I didn't tell you that I use to have a piercing on my clit in sophomore year, did I?" I mumbled to his chest, making him stiffen.

"Wait, what?"

My cheeks quickly turned redder than my hair. "Nothing." I quickly retorted, "b-but what did I tell you?"

"You..you told me you use to cut."

I rose my head off of his chest to this. I can't believe I was THIS carefree to let my guard down in this way. I couldn't help but think that this would the best time to skip out and smoke. NO. I have to stop running to drugs like its some emotional psychiatrist that helps develop self-confidence.

"Jimmy-"

"Why didn't you tell me, Ellie?" He breathed out, his face reading pure disappointment, hurt, and confusion - as well as my emotions. "Do you not trust me?"

Huh. Funny how I was the one giving the false accusation less than twenty minutes ago. Our relationship was more re-accuring than a washing cycle.

"What? Jimmy I trust you more than myself!"

"Then why didn't you tell me you were cutting before Paige did?" Jimmy's voice dropped an octave lower, sending chills down my spine.  
>"J-Jimmy, please, understand why I hadn't told you before." I stammered, tears threatning to swim out. "I was depressed a-and Paige just saw me and tried to get me help. Sh-she tried to help me but I just..I just pushed her away and just let every stupid thing that ha-happened to me out on myself." Now I was sobbing uncontrollably. "Please, Jimmy." I sniffled, "please just be here with me."<p>

Jimmy gripped my waist and sat me on his lap, my legs were crossed behind his back. "Always. I will never leave you." He ran his fingers through my hair.

"As long as there's air left in me..."


End file.
